Alcoholism Recovery & Treatment

Well,let me start by saying that I admire you in that you have been exposed to so much, at such an early age and yet you have not taken the easy way out by doing drugs,like your mother, but have rather identified concerns in your life that u want to address – this is admirable.
Given your background and your comments above I really believe that seeking help from a professional counsellor is essential so that u can deal with these issues and move on and enjoy your life.
Good luck and I hope you find many good friends in the future.

I can feel your pain coming through the screen. You sound like a good person with a good heart. But you have been through more than anyone should have to bear. Youre not crazy or abnormal for having these feelings, only human. Actually it sounds like youve dealt with things pretty well. But yea, I would seek counsleing. It would be great if you could find a christian theripist or phycologist. The reason I say this is I have a feeling that “lost” feeling can only be filled by Jesus Christ. Please dont take all this the wrong way, I cant get all I want to say to you on here, so I will just try to say whats most important. See, we are all sinners from the time of birth and are seperated from God by that sin. Jesus is the only way back to God. Its really simple though. All you have to do is ask him to forgive you for your sins,then ask him to come in to your heart and save you. Its why he died on the cross, so we can be saved from our sins. Im not saying this will solve all of your problems, but it will make it a lot easier to deal with things. Hes allways there, just waiting on you to accept his free gift. Then when you do, just bring all your problems to him and lay them at his feet. You can talk to him about anything. Trust me, I do. Just know he loves you, and I love you and will pray for you. If you need to talk you can contact me, my email is listed.
momofhunterandhaven@yahoo.com

Firstly, realise that you have done very well for yourself considering what you have endured in your life. You are holding down a job and you have a car, home, and a boyfriend who you love. You obviously possess a lot of enviable qualities within, because as a child you did what adults were doing (i.e., cooking, cleaning, etc.), and these things you were doing as a child would have strengthened your character as an adult.
I do think the reason for the lack of trust is because as a child – when you were more vulnerable – there was a lack of trust due to your mother and her habits, so to speak, and with not having a ‘normal’ childhood. This was a time of nurturing, of growing, and of building solid relationships and especially with those around you, but sadly you did not receive this. The beautiful thing is you have opened up to your boyfriend who you obviously love dearly because you can talk with him about everything, and when you say you met him at 14 and “all the weight came off your shoulders” then there was a wonderful turning point in your life and state of trust.
Truly, if a feeling keeps nagging at you and you are unsure of what to do, it could be a good idea to see somebody. A therapist is confidential, trustworthy and someone who will understand you and not judge you. I do feel you need to let a lot out but moreso face-to-face, and as this person will be a stranger then there is no need to hide who you are, where you’ve been and what you want in order to become your higher self.
Again I congratulate you on obviously growing up to be a wonderful young lady, because there is no anger, hatred or aggression in your post, just a wish for a personal understanding of where you are at.
Good luck sweetie. x

Counseling could be the catalyst to reaching the answer inside yourself.
You hold the key.
Can you change what happened?
No, but you can come to terms with it.
Can you continue to hold onto the resentment?
Yes, but it would only weigh you down.
Can you learn from it?
You already did, by turning that scared child into a healthier person than both of your parents.
Can you tear down the wall that you have built?
You have the power to destroy the barriers that you have created.
The answer to your fear is to face it.
Write your mom and dad a letter. You do not have to give it to them if you choose not to.
Detail all of the things that caused you pain.
Describe all of their negative actions and how those actions caused you harm.
You can either give it to them, or burn it.
Either way, end the letter with forgiveness.
You do not have to forget, but letting go of all of the negative emotions will be a gift that you give yourself.
Best wishes

It sounds like you just need to rant and have someone say “Poor you”. Go see a therapist to go do this and then when you feel like you let all the anger out and really let go, then you can move on until then. Therapist do find a way to help you forgive and face things in our past

the more stories I hear about kids I feel so sad you need therapy with a counselor so you know how to heal to go on and know this you no longer live that life it is over and done with i know I was a victim at home along with my brothers and I understand what you are saying I learned to let it go the relief was it was no longer happening to me and that my children wouldnt suffer the same way thank god take care and please get some help no use keeping the anger inside it only eats at your insides

Definitely counseling. My wife had to go through it with the death of her Dad and Mom and it did her a lot of good.
Look up “professional counseling” in the city you live in using your favorite search engine and talk to them. Shop around and pick someone you feel comfortable with.