Do Men Ever Get Over Having Thier Hearts Broken?
Posted by: Alan in Alcohol Counseling, tags: Broken, Ever, Having, Hearts, Over, Thier
My guy married his first because she was pregnant young & at the time – that is what you did – marriage. He worked his tail off for 28 yrs to provide and he did a great job. Kids are grown, multiple properties, nice vehicles, vacations, etc.. One day she got up & told him she wanted a divorce. He tried for 2 years with counseling and all he could to make things better- she pretended & come to find out had been cheating on him. She had him served & for another 2 yrs he was in several accidents, alcohol, etc. When I met him, he had been straightening things out for himself for about 1 1/2 years, though not all was finished. OK – weve been strong for @6 months now & it has been a roller coaster and so we are taking things slow. There’s so much to consider, but I wonder if after all that time will he ever, truly feel worthy of love again and will he ever really trust it? He tells me all the time how I have changed his perspective on things & I feel good about it – BUT?????????????
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February 7th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
yes he can have a new beginning with you and put the hurt and pain aside—–really needs to drop all drugs and alcohol.
Good Luck
February 8th, 2010 at 12:47 am
28 yrs. is an aweful long time. It will take a while to get over it. Like you said, she was his first. Have you ever thought about your first since the last time you seen him?? He’s got to readjust to the single life and being able to date again. He may still be feeling he’s cheating on her. Just give him room to work it out. As you said 28 years.He also might concider some counciling to help him over the hump he may be feeling.
February 8th, 2010 at 2:47 am
No, not entirely. It remains part of us until the day we die. What’s important is what we do about it. Did we learn how better to behave towards our womenfolk? Did we learn to curb our garbage-mouths, control our drinking, hit nothing other than a golf ball (or tennis ball, or baseball, or…)? Did we learn to share, to take an interest in what interests her, help with the housework (more than taking out the trash, fer cripes sakes). Do we make an effort to help with minding the children who come along during a subsequent marriage? Do we ensure that she does not have to come home from a full day’s work and then put in another six to eight hours of housekeeping while we sit on our fat a$$ez in front of the idiot box or mucking around with that ancient Z-28 we pretend we’re gonna restore some day?
Yeah, it hurt. My divorce damm near killed me – my marriage was my identity. Does not help to realize it was mostly my fault even tho there was no “other woman” or “other man”. I’m forever aware of that failure – and work hard as heck to ensure I don’t foul up marriage number two. Is number two troubled by how difficult my divorce was? Well, yes – ’cause she’s been there too. We’re two wounded birds that support one another. Doin’ good so far – it’s worked for the past seventeen years…and I’m glad you can’t see me right now because tough ol’ Micks ain’t supposed to cry…
February 8th, 2010 at 5:23 am
Yes! Never underestimate the power of love. Keep being you.
February 8th, 2010 at 11:32 am
Anyone (male or female) can get over it if they choose to do so.
February 8th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
that’s f**k up in so many ways. But men have feeling just like women, and so are really weak then other get over stuff faster. But in this story your friend has been really bad hurt it my take a little time
February 8th, 2010 at 8:22 pm
He spent a long time with this woman. He’d be a jerk if he wasn’t upset and maybe unable to love or trust for a while. Whether he will choose to fall in love with you or not is a mystery. He will love again at some point.
February 9th, 2010 at 3:21 am
GOD knows how to heal broken hearts, and He will do it , if you ask Him. The Bible says: “YOU HAVE NOT, BECAUSE YOU ASK NOT/.” JUST BELIEVE, AND YOU WILL RECEIVE/./././.
February 9th, 2010 at 5:16 am
He has to get over his ex before he can love you.
February 9th, 2010 at 5:25 am
And I wonder what her version of this story is? Hmm….sounds fishy to me. No one is perfect and that would include him. He being married for so long doesn’t determine if he will get over it or not. It is a decision made with the mind.
February 9th, 2010 at 8:49 am
i believe so but this one will take some time… he was in the previous relationship for a very long time…so it will take a very long time to get over it and move on. Just be there for him and show him that you love him and that will speed up the process.
hope this helps….
February 9th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
They definitely can get over having their heart broken. Especially, if they meet the woman they love like I have.