How Do You Know If Your Husband Doesnt Want To Be With You Anymore?
Posted by: Alan in Alcohol Counseling, tags: Anymore..., Doesn't, Husband, Know, Want, With, Your
My husband of nine years completely flipped out on me today. I was in town, and told him I would be about an hour, I was with my older brother and younger sister and niece and nephews. Well after an hour he called and asked why I was still there. I told him I was just hanging out, and he said ” I thought you were just gonna be gone a little while”? Well i told him I would leave in about an hour cause I had to go to the store still. So he hung up on me. After an hour he called back and I told him i was getting the stuff he asked me to get at the store. When I get home I tried talking to him and he starts yelling at me so loud our two kids open the bedroom door to see what happened. I told them to go back out and he is putting on his shoes and everything, tells me he wants me out, he will call the police, grabs my keys and takes my car keys of my set. When I do finally get them back, I happened to find them an hour later, i went outside and he took all my cds and smashed them. So i took his keys, I shouldnt have, and when he asked for them I told him its not cool is it? You tried so hard to be in control of the car and when I couldnt leave you dont like it. My kids were both there I told them to go to their rooms, and he started yelling again before they left. I told him to calm down, he was scaring them, he called me a b*tch, and all kinds of other names and said I hope you die. He will not talk to me now, I dont know what to do and I am so frustrated because I dont know how to fix it. Hes been to rehab before for alcohol but I know hes not drinking and I dont think hes doing drugs. Any help??? I want to go to counseling but he wont go.
I dont think he is even considering cheating, I mean we have been together for so long. I have two kids, yeah I am a stay at home mom, but this is a very small town so if he even though I would think he would even accuse me of it before he got so mad. I know he will never be physical with me in a bad way its not his nature. we have been together 11 years so I am sure of that. But its just trying to figure out how to fix it.
Ok, he has never done this to me before, this is all new to me. After 9 years I will not leave him because he scared me by yelling. I am trying to find a way to fix it.
he went to rehab through a clinic, said we would go to counseling after he got out, he didnt like his counselor there, but he always had a reason why not to go. now he just wont go. as for alone time or anything I doubt that is it because he just made a point of telling me weeks before that he wants to go when he wants to go. I know he has problems with dealing with stress, we both do, i have epilepsy. he takes a couple prescriptions for them but I dont know if he is now taking them or not. He just doesnt tell me
We have never mesed around on each other or been in this situation before.
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February 26th, 2010 at 9:00 am
The danger of homemaking is that men often times feel you dont have the money to leave them and so they can treat you crappy. You should not be going through that crap…If you can find you a job that might give you more leverage or atleast the funds to bounce.
February 26th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
This is a terrible situation for you and especially for the kids. If you cannot get this resolved with him please get out so your children won’t be upset all the time. It affects them forever.
February 26th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
He leaves for his vacation, gives you a big hug and kiss good-bye and calls you 2 weeks later to tell you the marriage is over!!!!!!
February 26th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
He already doesn’t want to be with you anymore. You’re being manipulated.
February 26th, 2010 at 11:05 pm
The guy’s an abusive tool. Dump him. Today.
February 27th, 2010 at 2:04 am
Time to nip this one in the bud. Step back from your feelings for an hour or so and think. Considering the length of your marriage and kids.
Yes they are listening and learning from your example. Spend more time with the kids and less time with him. Let him see how you deal with the disagreements among the kids. Stay calm at all times. When he gets angry and yells go into the possum stage. Say nothing, do nothing just look at him with bewilderment. When he finishes his tirade all you say is wow. When he asks what wow means. Just say I can’t believe you would ever speak to me like that. One staying perfectly calm while the other rages is best advice. Try it and see how the argument changes. You will understand more at that point what’s really going on.
February 27th, 2010 at 4:44 am
Try to talk to him.Asked him what does he want.If he does not want to go to counseling then you have to sit down with him and talking about what is effecting him.Make time for the both of you to sit down and talk spent time with each other without the kids.
February 27th, 2010 at 5:39 am
I think its one of those marriage phases were things seem odd,dont give up on him
February 27th, 2010 at 9:13 am
I’m really sorry that you are going thru these bad times with your husband. Since couples counseling is out the best I can suggest is to try talking things out with your husband & finding out where the source of his anger & frustration is coming from. Maybe if he feels like he’s heard, he will calm down? Try talking things out more & see if you can’t come to a better place. Good luck!