Comments on: What Is The Right Thing To Do I’m A Wife Who Cheated And Now…?

By: BJ

BJ — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:15:28 +0000

You need to get help, get divorced and then think about eventually finding someone else. Cheating is wrong. Don’t stay with him if you are not happy.

By: 34B

34B — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:38:11 +0000

Personally, I don’t feel you cheated, it took the alcohol to release your inner feelings and desires. He sounds manic and controlling you should not feel guilty at all. You had a desire to be free, even if it was for a short time and took advantage. He wants to control you, even trying to get you bigger boobs was that for you or him? you should follow your heart which is telling you he is nota very good man. he is good to your daughters but for how long? You should not live a phony life just to satisfy his controlling urges.

By: anything

anything — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:34:57 +0000

Feeling for you. Sometimes it seems like there is no way out doesn’t it?
I think it comes down to two choices, with him or without.
You either have to accept that you are all staying together and really start to work on the marriage with all the energy you can muster for the sake of your children and yourself or you have to plan on leaving him. If you choose to leave him start stashing money away and planning an exit strategy.
Good luck.
Baby has a valid point – as part of your exit plan ensure you are aware that this is the most dangerous time for a woman – when she leaves an abusive relationship. You will need to keep your arrangements between yourself and a couple of people you can absolutely trust. Be careful and be smart.

By: Jim C

Jim C — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:14:13 +0000

I feel really sorry for your kids, your a mess, your man is a d#@k, and they have to live with it. You two should move to different parts of the country and stay away for life. Mostly find a safe warm happy place fo your kids, they deserve much much better.

By: saint_ca

saint_ca — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 22:47:31 +0000

Wow…a lot going on here. Well you both made mistakes. But you need to focus on the present and the future now. When spouses have arguments it is tempting to bring up past mistakes but you both need to focus on your behavior right NOW and how it may affect your children.
You and he should not be having these massive explosive arguments in front of the children. I know you said he is the one who starts it. He seems to have a problem with rage and so you will need to tell him when you are out of ear shot of the children that it is very bad for them to hear you both screaming at each other and that he cannot do that.
There are several things that make me think this may not work on the long term. He seems to not be happy with who you are and is trying to change you and your physical appearance. A woman should want to change her appearance for herself, NOT because her husband is pushing her into it. Men who view a lot of porn will have unrealistic expectations of what a woman should look like and what they realistically can do sexually. So I see that as a big issue, one that you may not be able to overcome. You have trouble wanting him sexually because you have a lot of anger and resentment deep down towards him. Sex is an outward expression of affection and love. If there is none there, it is hard to express it.
I cannot tell you what to do, but don’t go by what your parents did or did not do. This is YOUR life, not theirs. I hope you have your own income and can begin saving your own money and preparing for what may come next. i just don’t see any good coming from all of this. I am so sorry. (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

By: Pirate

Pirate — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:52:05 +0000

Get your life together, and no who you are, take care of what’s yours. Take care of yourself, and keep you head up, face the situation…be happy, don’t live the life of pain, and i’m sure you’re beautiful, i hate it when women think they’re hideous, everyone has beauty in them you just don’t see it. People change but true love never change. I’m not in the situation, it must be tough but yo you’re still alive, you see the problem, god wouldn’t give you anything you couldn’t handle, you try and probably tried to help, but only a person can help themselves, i hope you help yourself and get things straight. you know what to do.

By: sdo3lg

sdo3lg — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 11:57:42 +0000

My only response is how do women compare that porn and having sex with some one that is not their spouse are equal?

By: Ruby Jane

Ruby Jane — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 10:10:54 +0000

This marriage will not work…
Move on…for the sake of your children.
Allow your husband contact with his children.
But as far as yourself goes…
Get your life back on track…make your children your number one priority and then who knows….
Your life may turn around for the best.

By: ~Baby~

~Baby~ — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 06:56:24 +0000

If you feel there is no love coming from your part and you are afraid he will stalk you or abuse you, It’s time to leave. When you decide to do this don’t tell him, don’t give him a reason to hurt you or the children. God knows lots of tragedy have happened when wives want to leave their husband. When you decide to leave him with your children do so after great deal of planing. If possible try to move out of the state so that you can live your life in tranquility so that you won’t have to be looking over your shoulder to see if he’s behind you or following you or what he’s gonna do to you next. You will feel better, if you decide to stay locally there is no way you can stop him from roaming around spying on you and your children. Just make sure that this is what you want. Whatever you decide to do try to make a wise decision for you and your children. Try not to jeopardize your lives in the process. I wish you and your family the best. I hope every works out for you.
Good Luck~!

By: sanatema

sanatema — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 06:38:05 +0000

well put u life in front of u and go and make a new beginning for u if he does not see what he is going to lose to bad for him id did the same and my wife forgive if she does it i will too some time we do things with out see the consequences