Alcoholism Recovery & Treatment

we have been married for 43 years. I am 60 yr old. He is a gemini which is two persons in one! he is drug and alcohol dependent. when he doesn’t have the drug you cannot talk to him or even be in the same room. So he then turns to alcohol which makes him dangerous. when he is on the drugs he is very agreeable and relaxed to live with.I have been on this roller coaster ride all these years. I DO NOT WANT to live the rest of my life like this! but I can’t seem to leave, I care about what happens to him, I’ll miss my home, I’m scared I won’t be able to support myself, I can’t live in an apartment without my animals! I don’t think I can mentally handle the separation. I will not ask him to sell the house or give me money. He has taken my sexuality away, no sex, We don’t talk unless hes high. I’ve been to counseling without success, they all want me to leave him! Someone help me, cause I can’t seem to make the decision.Then I think I’ve stood it out this long and now I’m going to leave him in our retirement years and he will die alone. As you can see I am very torn in the decision to do whats right for me! Thank you for listening.

we have been married for 43 years. I am 60 yr old. He is a gemini which is two persons in one! he is drug and alcohol dependent. when he doesn’t have the drug you cannot talk to him or even be in the same room. So he then turns to alcohol which makes him dangerous. when he is on the drugs he is very agreeable and relaxed to live with.I have been on this roller coaster ride all these years. I DO NOT WANT to live the rest of my life like this! but I can’t seem to leave, I care about what happens to him, I’ll miss my home, I’m scared I won’t be able to support myself, I can’t live in an apartment without my animals! I don’t think I can mentally handle the separation. I will not ask him to sell the house or give me money. He has taken my sexuality away, no sex, We don’t talk unless hes high. I’ve been to counseling without success, they all want me to leave him! Someone help me, cause I can’t seem to make the decision.Then I think I’ve stood it out this long and now I’m going to leave him in our retirement years and he will die alone. As you can see I am very torn in the decision to do whats right for me! Thank you for listening.

I’ve gotten in trouble 4 times in my life. 3 of which have been bad luck. I am 20 years old I had so much basketball talent in high school but threw it away because i got in trouble with alcohol and kicked off the sports team by a rule which later got changed and would have had no effect on me. and when i got in trouble in high school i was with a friend and he got off scott free and now plays ball for Miami Oh. I got in to college and took out mass student loans something that i am now regretting. I got the best job ever where i got half off school a free cell phone and got to drive amazing cars and eat amazing food everyday. I got arrested at a party in college where their were over 50 people and I was the only one arrested because i was “out of control”. I didn’t get fired from my job for it and I got a ton of advice. but I continued to party and drink with my college friends because lets be honest that’s all we do. I had a girlfriend for 2 years and I broke up with her because I didn’t want to marry her and I wanted to see what else was out their. I found a few girls and then found one that I am very interested in. But before I met her i got fired from my job for forgetting a job on a weekend and lieing about it when I got back. The next quarter of college i partied my *** off and had so much fun and met this new girl. but i got arrested again and this time for some reason I ran from the cops and then gave up and got caught for alcohol once again. I was literally walking down the street with a case of beer for 2 minutes when all night my other underage friend had been carrying it and I got caught. I’ve always had the worst luck and it kills me. I’ve thrown away every opportunity given to me and I don’t understand why. I am currently on house arrest and 2 years probation for my latest offense. and I am super depressed all the time, I have all the time in the world to focus on school but i cant because all i think about is regret. i want to die but I dont think i can kill myself. I just wish i was someone else and I could find the easy way out. I wish someone could relate to me. I have always had the best opportunities and the best people around to show me the way, but for some reason I havent cared and thrown them all down the drain. BUT I DO CARE and its not just because im in trouble now, i really do care and I cant fix it now. I feel it is too late to accomplish the things i want in life and that I will never be able to get over the regret I feel. any advice from anyone. I have went to counseling on my own and it hasn’t helped at all I just seem to turn down what everyone says “be positive your still in college and your only 20″ I didnt give a rats *** about that, ive had everything and ive thrown it all away and for what? so i could party as much as all my friends who have been given all the money they have ever needed from their parents. I dont know what to do and i would like to hear if anyone has any advice or words of wisdom.

I’ve been married 7 yrs. w/ a 6 and 4 yr. old. It was OK until about 2002 when I discovered my minister husband had a porn addiction. For the next 4 yrs. he would lie and hide it and I would be heartbroken every time I found more.
I started seeing a counselor and became very depressed. For 5 yrs. now I have alone and isolated. I stared to abuse alcohol and prescription pills last fall.
Last Nov. I had a few drinks w/ a friend and met one of her husband’s single friends, he started pursuing me like crazy. I spent a few drunken nights with him. The sex was heavily influenced by alcohol and I know I would not have wanted to if I wasn’t smashed.
I knew him for only about 4 wks. when my husband found a text from him. My husb. was devastated, he got very crazy and semi-violent. He would throw things and break them and call me a whore and tell me I was nothing and worthless and engage in stalking behaviors. He made constant death threats on him. Christmas day he was screaming to my mom that she was a b*tch right in front of our kids.
I thought about leaving him, we went to counseling, my co-workers (who knew nothing of any of this) confronted me saying he was “creepy” and “abusive”. The counselor thought he was not good to be around. I came to the decision that it doesn’t matter what I want but what will give the girls the best life b/c he is a good dad.
He cleans the house, never spends any money on himself, he doesn’t drink, he (as far as I know) isn’t using porn, compliments me, prays for and with the kids, and seems to try to do the right thing.
He hasn’t had a crazy episode in a while (about 4 months) but when he has them he will say anything and everything around the kids and make constant references to this other guy. He believes all of our relationship problems were caused by me.
I feel deep in my heart that I have cursed my family and have become suicidal (just in thoughts). I know he is in pain and what I did was wrong. But I try to avoid being around him and now I have found myself attracted to another guy and feeling like I care for him. I’m not going to act on these feelings but I am scared by it.
He (husb.) tells me I’m beautiful but I think I’m hideous. I also think he always wants me skinnier/ better looking even though he doesn’t say it. He encouraged me to get breast implants. He surprised me with laser hair removal b/c he wants me hair free. I mentioned I might try the master-cleanse diet but wasn’t ready yet and he went all out buying all of the supplies. Even though I am within my healthy weight range. I never withhold sex from him but have trouble wanting him sexually.
My mom wasted her life staying with an abuser only to end up lonely in the end.
In our relationship there is just a void. I am jealous of women who say “I love my husband” because I want so badly to love him.
I am now on anti-depressants and hoping life will improve.
When I imagined my life I never thought I’d be living like this. I was someone who always sacrificed to do the right thing and now I have done the worst thing possible.
The children are all that matter and I don’t want to hurt them. I’m afraid he will hurt me or stalk me if I try to leave him. When I mentioned divorce and he said he would “fight me tooth and nail.” Yet he says all he wants is for me to be happy.
I am so confused about the right thing to do. And I don’t know if any of this is abusive or I am just unconsciously trying to get away from him.
His parents have never divorced. My parents have both divorced several times. So I don’t want to be quick to divorce. He keeps saying we can work this out and God wants us to and Satan is fighting it. I want to believe he’s right and he does really love me but I am so confused…please if you can help it will mean a lot..

i just got back from MEPs and i did my asvab and physical. I passed all my tests. When asked in my physical (have I ever been arrested for alcohol/ drug related reasons) I stated truthfully that I had 2 DUIs 12 yrs ago. He ordered a psych test. He said according to the regulations anyone with 2 or more alcohol offenses must be cleared by a shrink. I laughed because I don’t even drink anymore. Dose anyone know how long this process takes as in setting up a shrink counseling? Or where I might find that DUI guideline posting. I understand some what I guess you must be crazy to be a scout.
With all this ive always been up front and i guess thats what really matters for my security clearance.
Thank you
ARMY STRONG