Alcoholism Recovery & Treatment

My guy married his first because she was pregnant young & at the time – that is what you did – marriage. He worked his tail off for 28 yrs to provide and he did a great job. Kids are grown, multiple properties, nice vehicles, vacations, etc.. One day she got up & told him she wanted a divorce. He tried for 2 years with counseling and all he could to make things better- she pretended & come to find out had been cheating on him. She had him served & for another 2 yrs he was in several accidents, alcohol, etc. When I met him, he had been straightening things out for himself for about 1 1/2 years, though not all was finished. OK – weve been strong for @6 months now & it has been a roller coaster and so we are taking things slow. There’s so much to consider, but I wonder if after all that time will he ever, truly feel worthy of love again and will he ever really trust it? He tells me all the time how I have changed his perspective on things & I feel good about it – BUT?????????????

So my 23 yr old son and I had an agreement. I pay 3000 on his bills if he goes to and stays in college, does not do any drugs or alcohol, continues with 1 hour a month counseling until the counselor releases him. Yesterday he said he won’t go to counseling anymore because he doesn’t think he needs it but he was not released by the counselor. I went alone and the counselor said then he broke the agreement and not to pay. My son did start college, went 3 days and quit saying hes going to look for a job because he just found out his girlfriend is pregnant (yesterday). I have bailed my son out many times over the years and gone through a lot with him. So the counseling is a big thing to me. My son treats me nice when he needs to ask for something but then after that hes not very nice to me so I feel unappreciated and uncared for by him. I want to help my son but it seems all the help doesn’t really help. And even though he may seem okay for now, there have been cycles of bad choices and I worry when and if the next will come. He’s mad at me now because I have told him since he’s not going to counseling, I won’t pay the $3000. I offered afterward that we could renegotiate the agreement and he still would have to go to counseling and he said, “Don’t worry about it”.