Alcoholism Recovery & Treatment

I decided to get information on what a separation means from an on-base attorney. My husband has threatened to cancel my debit/credit card to our joint account if I leave and I wanted to make sure I would be financially ok for our kids. My husband was supposed to have gone with me to speak with him because I wanted my husband to know his rights too, but at the last minute he didn’t want either one of us to go and was upset with me when I went anyway. When I got home he told me there’s no way he’d let me have the kids and he’d fight tooth and nail to keep them. I asked why he didn’t think I would be able to take care of them and he said, “I don’t. You’re a great mother. But you will NOT get them. I’ll fight until you lose them.” I don’t have a job or money of my own because we had decided that I would stay home with our kids. I plan on getting a job if we separate because I don’t want our kids to grow up the way I did, pretty much in poverty. It’s a fear of mine. He’s in the military and deploys a few times a year. He’s admitted he’s an alcoholic but refuses to get treatment. He’s not emotionally stable and has a terrible temper. He’s trying to get counseling through our church because it’s anonymous though, but even they said he needs to seek a higher form of counseling. I’m going to counseling as well, and we were going to counseling together but he doesn’t want to go back because he says he’s picked on and made to feel evil.
I don’t hate him, actually I love him very much I just can’t live with the drinking, lies and anger. This is tearing me apart, and I don’t want him to come across as only the things I’ve mentioned. He’s a good father when alcohol and depression isn’t involved, actually, he’s a good husband then too. He just isn’t getting help and it’s wearing on me and the kids too. I’m sorry if I come across as a terrible wife.

A 27-year veteran of the Boston Police Department pleaded guilty yesterday to assault charges for shooting a fellow officer with his service weapon after a night of heavy drinking.
Officer Paul Durkin has also agreed to resign from the department, which bars convicted felons from its ranks, spokeswoman Elaine Driscoll said.
Durkin, who pleaded guilty to one count of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, was sentenced to three years of probation and a mandatory evaluation for alcohol abuse
This man intentionally shot another cop, and he gets probation and booze counseling? This is a remarkable development.
Wouldn’t you just love it if this cop showed up at your house to help protect you against a home invasion?
Geez, time to get a license to carry permit.
Anyone else shooting a cop would get charged “attempted murder with a deadly weapon” in most states.
And if someone shot a drunk cop because he was defending himself, he’d still be labeled a cop killer.
http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2007/04/24/policeman_admits_to_shooting_officer/

My wife shouts at me day and night – at any little thing. I am in a de-tox progrom for alcohol (successful so far). She was requested by her doctor to not shout at me during this 2 week period. Does not stop her – picks on any little thing and shouts about my family, my housework, anything.
By the way I make a very decent salary in the silicon valley and support my wife and my 2 kids. I am not perfect but do the best that I can.
I try to resolve issues by discussion but get shouted at in return. This is a pattern with us.
What are options other than divorce (she refuses to go to counseling)? We have 2 little children

I’m 17 and I consider myself an intelligent person. You’d think I’d get straight A’s in school right? Well you wrong. I do get A’s, it’s just that I don’t really work for them. Usually the classes I get A’s for have either nice teachers, or the class is just easy and I don’t have to do a lot of work. Any other class I don’t do as well at. It’s not even in school either. It stretches to my personal life as well. I have interests such as art, music, and acting but not the motivation to develop them. I’ve been depressed for a very long time. It’s a combination of things. It’s mainly my parents. My dad has problems with alcohol and he’s been abusive towards my mom, mainly verbally but sometimes physically. I think my dad is an idiot who doesn’t understand other people’s feelings. An example of his stupidity is that he actually asked me if he and my mom should get a divorce. Why ask me? I’m his son. Why bring me into his pointless conflict? I was 14 at the time and having typical teen issues and he just made it all worse for me. He was fighting a lot with my mom and just acting like an idiot. They’re still together and I wish they would just get divorced already. I hate my dad and do not spend time with him at all because it’s just too uncomfortable for me. I can’t even be in the same room as him. There’s way more I could tell you about them, but it’s just too long for me to type up. Since I was young, I was always shy and withdrawn and all that made it worse for me. Today I have no friends at all. I don’t talk to anybody at school and any attempt they make to communicate with me is pointless as I won’t respond. So any talent that I feel I have such as music and acting just gets ignored because I’m too busy solving all of my other problems. I’m getting counselling and we’re working on it but it’s still going to take a while. I really need to move out of my house because there is just too much tension and negative energy. Moving out won’t solve my problem but it will at least be the first step towards it. My counsellor is going to help me with this. So basically, I don’t feel I can have the motivation to develop my talents until I solve my other problems and get away from my family first.

I was taking Level 1 substance abuse treatment (group counseling) due to court order (DUI) in other state. I still need to take 16 hours of classes. But, I re-located to Honolulu HI.
And having hard time finding agency who conducts Alcohol group class.
Do you know some counselor or group I can contact with?