Alcoholism Recovery & Treatment

I have been married to my husband ( her son) for 2 years and together with him for a total of 5 1/2 years.
At first we had some hard times to get through. He was verbally and mentally abusive to me from drugs and alcohol. We ended up moving to a different state and his drug use got worse. He lied to me about using. I had enough of the abuse and told him to get counseling or we were done. He opted for the door and left me with our 2 kids (ages 1 and 2). I was devestated because of all the chances I had given him.
He left state and went to his home state. I on the other hand got involved with another man who treated me like gold. I ended up being phyisically involved with him. After about 2 months, I get calls from my ex and he wants to make things right. That’s all I wanted so I imaturely dumped my new boyfriend to make things right with my children’s father.
I made him promise no more drugs and alcohol. He agreed. During our drive to his home state, somehow, his mom heard that I was sleeping with this other guy. Now I had a BIG secret to keep from my soon to be husband. To this day he is pissed that I did that with another man even though we were split up. I guess I just needed to feel like I was alive.
Well time went by and I ended up telling my soon to be husband that the rumor was true. He was devestated that I lied and did that.
My mother in law, ever since has had it out for me. When I moved here I made some friends and would talk about the problems I had. I had even told them that I was thinking of leaving him. Later they came to my MIL and told her what I said.
5 months ago my husband had been fed up with his personal health and decided to try and kill himself. I was so over stressed and scared and just mortified. On the night he had done it, I had to go home from the hospital and while I was there I called my exhusband and told him what had happend. It was all I could do to talk to someone. I couldn’t reach my parents and I didn’t want to deal with his mom any more.
Now my exhusband left a nasty answering message on my MIL’s machine and she heard that I told my ex that my husband tried to kill himself. She would tell my husband that she “knows something, but doesn’t want to say it, becuase it would rip the family apart.” He would ask me and becase she confronted me on it, I said I didn’t know what she was talking about. I knew that she wouldn’t understand that I called my ex about my husband. I wasn’t doing it to get together with him. I surely wasn’t celebrating it. I was emotionally over loaded and needed to talk to a friend. Niether my MIL or my husband understand how to be friends with someone you are divorced from. Plus we have one child together, so the bond is always going to be there.
Well, now my MIL is having us go to counseling meetings with her. I think is is insane. How many couples have counseling with their MIL? She talks about how she can’t trust me and that I am hiding things from her son. Well, I shoudl have told my husband that I talked to my ex, even though he wouldn’t understand. Now she is putting me under the bus tires and making me look awful and making things out to be more than they are. She even took my husband to my workplace and talked to my boss about how much I am being paid and that she doesn’t trust me. He had no idea she was going to do this. He stuck up for me like crazy. Yesterday she told him that she doesn’t know who I am because I have all these different sides. Sorry, but who doesn’t…anyone is going to react to their environments.
Well, now, she has brought up the whole knows something and doesn’t want to break up the family thing and my husband wants to know what she is talking about. I just told him. He was hurt and confused.
How should I treat this counseling session tomorrow? I love my husband, but I tried to tell him that she has no business investigating our personal problems and fishing for ways to smear me in the ground. He is upset with me for lying to her and him. I said I would apologize to her but if anything about our personal problems come up then I won’t talk about them in front of her. If I do, it makes her part of our marriage. She does not need to know about my insecurities or his and how we treat each other all the time. But becuase he is upset with me, he says that when my ex called her, she became involoved. Maybe so, but why have to make such a big deal out of calling my ex? Now my husband is trying to piece together the same “clues” to see what else I am doing. I am not doing anything, I just want her to leave us alone. I told my husband that I would like for him to sit with me at counseling and blatantly tell his mom that we are staying together, and he is upset that I caused him pain, biut we as a couple will discuss that issue privately without her. He is not for that AT ALL. I told him that I would not go to the session becuase his mom would be there. I do owe her an apology and that’s it. She has no right to sit in