Alcoholism Recovery & Treatment

Question by antinioa: I love my wife, I hurt my wife, I need my wife, I miss my wife, when does the this all go away?
Hello, one year ago I married the prettiest lady in the county. I met her at a local church. At that time I was in a drug and alcohol treatment center. After my wife found out that I was in treatment she accepted me with open arms. She stated to me that my recovery is her recovery as well. going into the relationship I bagan to use again. My wife found out and thats when things started getting bad in our relationship. My wife supported me through this ordeal of relapsing, and she even started going to meetings with me. I did not show any appreciation for her standing behind me. I began to become verbally abusive to her and her kids. I had the ambition to start a lawn business and she supported me with that. She financed me two trucks in which I still drive, She open up credit cards in which I abused. she also emptied her retirement because of me. On one day four months ago, I came home intoxicated, and high, I hit my wife that night and went to jail. she took out a temporary restraing order out on me. that night was my bottom and I admitted myself back into rehab. Even after taking out the restraining order she still allowed me to come over to spend time with the kids.I took advantage of that and became more selfish and controlling. I would call her a hundred times a day, texting her constantly, never taking no for an answer. She finally told me that she needs her space and time to heal. I did not understand that, realizing that I am currently in recovery and I need time to heal myself. My wife is very pretty, smart, intelligent, loving, and most of all she is a true christian lady. she has a 15 year old daughter and son that is going to be 10 in about a week. I love those kids like they were mine. I would express to them the importance of their education, I talked to them about life issues like a real father would. I spent alot of quality time with them, taking them out on fridays and doing the things they desired to do. I love those kids and I miss them. My wife has been out of a job for almost 31/2 months, the only income she is receiving is unemployment. I have been helping her as much as I can, but I lost my job, now I can’nt help her like I was. We both go to the same church, but she told the officials that she has a temporary restraining order and that we should be attendig different services. now she has totally shut me out of her life. she don’nt answer my calls, she don’nt call me, she may e-mail me if it something importat or she is mad. She is very bitter towards me and I have become afraid of her. she still allows me to drive the two vehicles thats in her name and I still have a few of my things in the house. Today, I am doing good in recovery, I am deeply involved in the church, and I am growing in the word of god every day. I am doing it for me now.These are the questions I need help with, she is not telling me anything like she wants a divorce or what our future will be like, when wiill she talk to me again,? I am giving her space and time to heal, when do I know when to contact her? I Got a part time job this week, do I tell her? What do I do now? I have acknowledge my wrongs and I take full responsibility for what I did. I love her and she is the lady I want to be with for the rest of my life. No one knows how I feel besides God. I truly love her. I just want us to live a joyous and happy spirutual life now. And I want to rebuild what I tore down of hers. She is currently atending co-dependency classes and various other groups. When do i ask her will she attend marriage counseling with me after I finish with my individual counseling? At what point do I give up and file for divorce? Or do I just hang in there? Please help me, i need and want my family back.

Best answer:

Answer by HIS!
Leave her alone. She was a sucker to allow you in her life. Hopefully she has learned a good lesson and won’t let it happen again. You don’t deserve them back. Sorry!

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Question by blessed: f a Paul, a heavy drinker, decides to stop drinking alcohol after his wife threatens to leave him.?
f a Paul, a heavy drinker, decides to stop drinking alcohol after his wife threatens to leave him. After one day of not drinking, Paul’s hands begin to shake, and he becomes very anxious. Paul is likely experiencing:
A.Tolerance
B.Detoxification
C.Withdrawal
D.Intolerance

Best answer:

Answer by No Real Help
deep seated anger due to contempt for his wife’s ultimatum

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Question by mike j: How do I find the best alcohol rehabilitation for my wife?
My wife’s been an alcoholic for over a year now, and I want her to undergo an alcohol rehabilitation before it’s too late. I know that if she doesn’t her life will put to risk. I don’t want our kids to be robbed of a mother they so dearly love. For some months now, I’ve been working on convincing her, and I have this confidence that she’ll eventually agree. Now, I am actively searching for the best possible alcohol rehab program that can help my wife. Any idea is welcome.

Best answer:

Answer by Jessica
The obvious is AAA. But you can go to Al Anon and they can help you deal with this. Good Luck.

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Seems he likes to attack other people, what did they say about glass houses?

I’ve been married 7 yrs. w/ a 6 and 4 yr. old. It was OK until about 2002 when I discovered my minister husband had a porn addiction. For the next 4 yrs. he would lie and hide it and I would be heartbroken every time I found more.
I started seeing a counselor and became very depressed. For 5 yrs. now I have alone and isolated. I stared to abuse alcohol and prescription pills last fall.
Last Nov. I had a few drinks w/ a friend and met one of her husband’s single friends, he started pursuing me like crazy. I spent a few drunken nights with him. The sex was heavily influenced by alcohol and I know I would not have wanted to if I wasn’t smashed.
I knew him for only about 4 wks. when my husband found a text from him. My husb. was devastated, he got very crazy and semi-violent. He would throw things and break them and call me a whore and tell me I was nothing and worthless and engage in stalking behaviors. He made constant death threats on him. Christmas day he was screaming to my mom that she was a b*tch right in front of our kids.
I thought about leaving him, we went to counseling, my co-workers (who knew nothing of any of this) confronted me saying he was “creepy” and “abusive”. The counselor thought he was not good to be around. I came to the decision that it doesn’t matter what I want but what will give the girls the best life b/c he is a good dad.
He cleans the house, never spends any money on himself, he doesn’t drink, he (as far as I know) isn’t using porn, compliments me, prays for and with the kids, and seems to try to do the right thing.
He hasn’t had a crazy episode in a while (about 4 months) but when he has them he will say anything and everything around the kids and make constant references to this other guy. He believes all of our relationship problems were caused by me.
I feel deep in my heart that I have cursed my family and have become suicidal (just in thoughts). I know he is in pain and what I did was wrong. But I try to avoid being around him and now I have found myself attracted to another guy and feeling like I care for him. I’m not going to act on these feelings but I am scared by it.
He (husb.) tells me I’m beautiful but I think I’m hideous. I also think he always wants me skinnier/ better looking even though he doesn’t say it. He encouraged me to get breast implants. He surprised me with laser hair removal b/c he wants me hair free. I mentioned I might try the master-cleanse diet but wasn’t ready yet and he went all out buying all of the supplies. Even though I am within my healthy weight range. I never withhold sex from him but have trouble wanting him sexually.
My mom wasted her life staying with an abuser only to end up lonely in the end.
In our relationship there is just a void. I am jealous of women who say “I love my husband” because I want so badly to love him.
I am now on anti-depressants and hoping life will improve.
When I imagined my life I never thought I’d be living like this. I was someone who always sacrificed to do the right thing and now I have done the worst thing possible.
The children are all that matter and I don’t want to hurt them. I’m afraid he will hurt me or stalk me if I try to leave him. When I mentioned divorce and he said he would “fight me tooth and nail.” Yet he says all he wants is for me to be happy.
I am so confused about the right thing to do. And I don’t know if any of this is abusive or I am just unconsciously trying to get away from him.
His parents have never divorced. My parents have both divorced several times. So I don’t want to be quick to divorce. He keeps saying we can work this out and God wants us to and Satan is fighting it. I want to believe he’s right and he does really love me but I am so confused…please if you can help it will mean a lot..